Not feeling the love today? Then here, try these Valentines on for sighs.
‘Cuz nothing says romance like necrotic tissue!
Another sure-fire mood-killer? Faded pictures of screaming children on motorcycles:
He’s yelling, “EWW WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING??“
Maybe you don’t want to kill the mood so much as make it really, really confusing:
“Weight 4 me?” “Weight 4 me?” How does that even make sense? I mean, look, I love puns. “Bee Mine” with a honey bee? I’m on board. “I love EWE” with a lil sheep? Adorbz. But what the heck is “Weight 4 me” with a heart lifting hearts? Is this just so meta my brain can’t handle it? Who even says “wait for me” on Valentine’s Day, much less says it so often they need a visual play on words? How is this a thing? Who thought this was a good idea? AAAAUGGH!
[patting hair back into place]
And finally, when you just plain want to be a jerk:
See, it’s funny, because nobody loves them! The person who ordered this cake, I mean.
You know, the one covered in pink icing. (We hope.)
Thanks to Jenn W., Gabrielle N., Candi, & Jamie G. for giving us a good idea what NOT to do.