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Elegant Cakes – The Bad, The Bad, and The Badder
Life Should Be Cake

The Bad, The Bad, and The Badder

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The following cakes were made by professionals, and paid for with actual money.
Do not adjust your screen.

 

Vicky W. wanted this cake, only in pink and white.

Hm. I wonder how it turned out?

 

Oh, that’s right! This is Cake Wrecks.

BAM!

 

This next cake is not the wreck.

It’s actually what Mary J’s half sister’s other sister* wanted for her wedding.
(*cousin’s nephew’s roommate…)

Which Mary J’s half sister’s other sister apparently bought at a donut shop.

Okay, time for some hard truths here. Are you ready? Here goes:

If your baker makes most of her money selling donuts,
MAYBE DON’T GET YOUR WEDDING CAKE THERE.

(King cakes should be fine, though.)

(OH SNAP!!!)

 

And finally, Elydia B. writes:

“My wedding was like a fairy tale. The cake was supposed to be from a very prestigious bakery in Tuscany…”

Wait, Tuscany? Like in Italy? Well, since I’m an American and everything I know about Italy involves designer clothes, expensive shoes, and bright red sports cars, I have to assume that the cake would be amazin…

“…but it was like the wicked stepmother portion of the fairy tale!”

AH. Right, then. So here’s what she wanted:

Nice! I like how they digitally added in Elydia’s monogram for this mock-up; really speaks to a high talent and prof… wait, you added that, Elydia? Oh.

Oh my.

Since I’m speechless, I’ll let Elydia finish:

“The cake that we got is about twice the size of me…”

(Hey, the more the merrier, right?)

“…but was a thin layer of cake with STYROFOAM below each layer of the Cool Whip-type frosting.”

(Oh. Um. Crunchy?)

“They took one hydrangea and broke it up into four pieces.”

(Where?)

“Honestly, I thought it was a practical joke!”

(Did you check if those “hydrangeas” were actually parsley garnishes from the salad bar? Because if so, then you were TOTALLY punk’d.)

 

Well, let that be a lesson to you, brides: always sniff your hydrangeas, and never… uh… yeah I got nuthin’.

*****

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