In honor of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ Mutation Day, allow me to present:
How To Make Your Own Mutant Ninja Turtle
1) Find a happy turtle.
2) Trap the turtle.
You may need a bigger cage.
3) Teach your turtle to love America.
If you’re not American, teach your turtle to love America anyway.
We need all the fans we can get right now.
When your turtle is properly addicted to Cheez Whiz and America’s Got Talent, it’s time to move on to the mutation phase.
4) Flatten him out:
5) And apply the super secret ingredient.
Be careful, sometimes there’s a plastic baby in there.
6) Add a colorful face mask, hope your turtle has acquired ninja skills, and you’re done!
Just remember, mutation results may vary.
But hey, at least he’s still happy to see you:
Thanks to Aliza E., Nathan M., Troy K., Denise, Courtney B., Tara M., Janet, Gary R., & Sharlyn W. for another reptile dysfunction.